martes, 15 de diciembre de 2009

RESETEO INSPIRADOR Y ADIÓS A UNA DÉCADA

Desde hace unos días, parece como si no tuviera nada de qué escribir, como si la inspiración se hubiera esfumado a modo de corriente de aire. Puede que quizás, también, fueran tantas cosas las que quisiera abarcar que no supiera por dónde empezar. Quizás porque si me centrase únicamente en un solo tema, dejaría olvidados otros más importantes. O quizás porque mi etapa de cambios sea precisamente eso, de cambios. ¿Será una etapa de poca ilusión por la escritura?, ¿de estado inerte?, ¿o será una etapa de convulsiones en mi vida que me lleven a tener que vivirla por encima de querer plasmarla en un papel? Por otra parte, ésta ha sido una etapa de leer a nuevos autores, algunos muy jóvenes como Paolo Giordano (sensacional su soledad de los números primos), lo cual me ha llevado a dejarme fascinar por su alta sensibilidad, por encima del deseo de hacer transmitir mis inquietudes, a las que puedo ver, a veces, tan rancias como descatalogadas, necesitadas de ser invadidas por nuevos conceptos.


Es posible que ande buscando un camino como un astronauta que intenta colonizar la luna y no sabe por dónde empezar al situar la bandera. Mi casa, reformada de arriba a abajo, es un cráter desconocido en el que acoplar mis cosas con delicadeza, día a día, en un período de vacaciones largas que el viernes inicio. La ilusión que genera la novedad mantiene siempre vivo el espíritu; siempre he pensado eso. Entonces me han invadido unas ganas considerables de desprenderme de todos mis enseres, de resetearme y de empezar con todo de nuevo. Parecía que llegaba la hora, fatal y bienavenida al mismo tiempo, de dar por sentada una vida antes de bendecir otra nueva, distinta. En realidad, todo era una falsa ilusión. En nada nos parecemos a los ordenadores; nuestro Alt+Ctrl+Supr no es tan efectivo como quimérico. Así que continuamos por una misma senda, una que hemos borrado previamente con una goma e intentamos ahora que no se parezca a sí misma, para después colorearla utilizando un paquete de lápices recién estrenado.



Acabaron los días y las noches estresantes, los miedos infundados que nos perseguían hasta la adolescencia y las emociones artificiosas producidas por querer correr en la vida, por querer acelerar los acontecimientos que ya llegarían. La vida se hace más pausada, como si entrara en una carretera sinuosa después de una veloz autopista a sabiendas de que después vendrá el camino de tierra. Después de ver cómo los demás pasaban acelerados por el cristal de la ventanilla, ahora uno observa el paisaje y se hace un alto en el camino para encender un pitillo y sentir el frío en la mejilla.



Sin querer desprenderse nunca del elixir de la juventud del que ningún ser vivo cabal querría hacerlo, y sabiendo que el divino tesoro es sólo un concepto, desapegado en su totalidad del valor de la edad, no se trata de entrar en consideraciones sobre el metraje que cada uno ha vivido, ni siquiera porque mi cumpleaños esté a unos días, ni porque la primera década del nuevo siglo se esté esfumando, sino de entender que la vida pasa, que pasa la vida.



La ilusión es el barrote de hierro por el que nos abrazamos antes de dejarnos caer por el columpio de la vida. Sin ese barrote, dejaríamos de jugar y nos moriríamos aburridos fuera del perímetro del parque. La ilusión la dan los amigos, las personas, los viajes, los grandes momentos. Mucho de lo demás, poco o nada importa. Es por ello que la vida siempre se hace interesante, a cualquier edad. Incluso cuando uno ya está expirando, todavía la vida le importa. Se hace bonita en cada una de las fases por las que transcurre. Nunca me pareció nada más tierno que ver a un anciano contento y vital, disfrutando como cuando era un chaval. La ternura de su sonrisa y de sus ojos contentos agrietados por las venas siempre me llamó la atención.
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Por eso, ahora que nada tenía de qué escribir, y ahora que sigo reseteando mi disco duro, haciendo por que la inspiración no desaparezca y nos deje ser libres, cuento un poquito de mí y deseo a todos que las mejores cosas estén por venir en una década que se empezará a escribir en unos días. Por cierto, la década de los ochenta, la de los noventa. ¿Y cómo han venido a llamar a la que ya acaba?

109 comentarios:

alicia dijo...

Una casa donde reinventarse, la nieve que bendice todo lo que cubre, un cumpleaños cercano y un fin de año al filo de nuestros pies...Todo indica que son tiempos de cambio. Sin ese vértigo estaríamos perdidos. A veces es tan necesario hacer ese "reseteo"... Me alegra leerte aunque sea para sembrar semillas de incertidumbre en un camino aún por andar. Abrazos en obras

Abismo Ínfimo dijo...

El fin de una década, Alicia, que no es moco de pavo. Me gusta entender cómo han sido las décadas una vez concluidas. Aunque te parezca mentira, algunos entramos en una quinta década vivida, en unos días seremos testigos de cinco décadas distintas, aunque nos quede todavía para cumplir los 40... qué juegos más paradójicos nos brindan las matemáticas... Por cierto, viva la incertidumbre. Sin ella, estaríamos vendidos. Y los cambios también. Me alegro de que estés ahí. Besos.

Anónimo dijo...

Me hace feliz haberte inspirado,parece que los toques de atención sirben para algo,gracias por dejarnos intuir algo más tu mundo...feliz nueva decada!!!

Nulla dijo...

Para no tener demasiado que escribir... te ha quedado una entrada redonda, y sabes que conozco como escribes. En estas letras todos nos sentimos reflejados. Buen trabajo Abismo.-

Cyllan dijo...

Vaya, feliz nueva década para ti también. Todo el mundo felicita el nuevo año y no había escuchado lo de la década, je. No tengo ni idea de como llamar a la anterior... ¿los años cero? Qué friki queda jaja.
Para no tener inspiración como dices, no veas si has escrito. Eres un pelma adorable Abismo, como siempre. Que todo te vaya bien en tu casita renovada.
Un beso grande.

Camy dijo...

Has empezado desde luego el año haciendo una limpieza interior en tu propia casa... aunque luego la corriente de la vida te lleve casi a aceptar lo que ya hacías y ya tenías. Realmente el nuevo año consigue en muchos mantengan consigo mismos una pelea interna entre lo que se debe y lo que se quiere...
P.D. Los números primos y su soledad me gustaron.
¡que se cumplan tus deseos y que sigas escribiendo!
:)

Anónimo dijo...

Esa sensación de la cual hablas, de lo novedoso yo lo plasmaría como cuando en septiembre empiezas el colegio, con los lápices, colores, mochila, estuche todo nuevo..Te invade la ilusión de lo novedoso, pero cuando el curso ya lleva 2 meses compruebas que la ilusión desapareció, que todos esos objetos nuevos ya no te crean esa ilusión,ni te dan el mismo entusiasmo, etc... Monotonía.. Entonces esperas con ansia que empiece el nuevo curso, para poder adquirir otra vez esos objetos que durante un periodo corto de tiempo te ilusionaron.. Y así hasta que maduras y lo entiendes... Feliz nueva década..

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